Employers cream themselves at the dream of finally ridding themselves of us employees.

Us employees are anxious about this because the specter of destitution demands that we stick around. Yet most of us don’t want to stick around anymore than employers want to keep us. 

And those same employers, like a spurned lover, get their feelings hurt that we, who they want gone, aren’t happy to be here. 

They want us with them constantly while they want us gone for good. 

We fight hard for time away and even harder to be here.

…

We have the abundance to rejoice and welcome any tech that could free us from this charade. 

But instead, our worst impulses keep us in this hilarious push and pull, clinging desperately to a marriage that no one wants.