Sirena's Scenes: Crossing el Rio Grande
OMG FINALLY: Sirena Act I, scene 1 + Consumerism as the Perfection of Slavery
These dispatches are part of a special BQE section, “Sirena’s Pages.” If you’re not into these screenplay updates but want to keep getting the rest of Big Quit Energy, you can use the unsubscribe link to adjust your settings to opt out of “Sirena’s Pages” specifically while staying on the list for all other Big Quit Energy emails.
Next scene
Friends, we’re finally on our way!
Took long enough, but I’m ready to start publicly publishing scenes from the re-written draft of Sirena: A Drag on America, for the first time since embarking on this project two years ago. Honestly, it’s a little bit of a milestone moment, and I’m a little proud.
I’ve slowly been able to rewrite three scenes already, so hopefully “staying ahead” of a weekly publishing cadence on here will be a good incentive to keep at it.
As I said before, with each installment of these you’ll get:
Today’s scene
Miscellaneous notes on the thought process behind it
An unrelated piece of antiwork content from someone else that I think is worth sharing. Feel free to jump straight down to that.
The Scene
EXT. The Rio Grande, Mexican side. DAY.
A free-range cow munches lazily on a scrubby bush. SIRENA—20, hoodie up, carrying a faded crockpot—scowls at it from a walking path.
SIRENA (Spanish): I should’ve been a cow.
JAIME, 12, sprawled in the dirt with a knock-off Game Boy, doesn’t look up.
JAIME (Spanish): Why would you wish that?
SIRENA: You just get to stand there and chew. No one bothers you.
Jaime grunts, goes back to his game.
MATILDE, 42, faded jeans and an old NASA T, approaches, wiping sweat from her brow.
MATILDE (Spanish): It’s ready.
She notices a teddy bear—sloppily painted white—dangling from a tree branch.
MATILDE: That’s cute. Jaime, you want it?
Jaime glances up, unimpressed.
JAIME: No thanks, I’m a bit old for that.
Matilde shrugs and heads for the water, waving at her kids to follow.
She leads them to a makeshift raft: kiddie pool floats, milk jugs, a camping tarp.
She gives one float a final pump of air.
SIRENA: This is the plan?
MATILDE: It’ll float. All you need.
She helps Jaime climb in. The raft shakes, but holds.
She climbs in after him, patting it like a trusty old car.
MATILDE: See? Solid.
Sirena eyes the American bank, reluctant.
SIRENA: I could just stay here.
MATILDE: Not that again. Get in.
Sirena sighs, wades in, and perches uneasily.
EXT. The Rio Grande, American side. DAY.
ZOE, 41, outdoors gear overkill, arranges water bottles with calm precision.
GRIZZIE, 18, in oversized sunhat and pristine sneakers, hovers nearby.
ZOE (English): You only set out water? Diversify.
Grizzie blinks, then hurriedly produces granola bars from a bag and lays them out.
Zoe nods, satisfied, scanning the river.
EXT. The Rio Grande, on the water. DAY.
Matilde pushes the raft forward with a stick.
MATILDE (bright): Easy, easy. See? We’re moving.
Sirena opens her crockpot to reveal a bunch of clothes and knick-knacks. She pulls out a bag of obleas--small, caramelized wafers.
Matilde glances at them, bemused.
MATILDE: A little taste from home?
SIRENA: Goodbye gift from Tita.
She chews on one.
SIRENA: You think they have these in America?
MATILDE: I doubt they waste their time with obleas. We’ll be enjoying bigger snacks in no time.
Sirena looks back at the Mexican shore shrinking behind them. She shuts the crockpot.
SIRENA: I like my snacks humble.
She leans forward to get off, but Matilde yanks her hoodie.
SIRENA: Let go!
In the commotion, Jaime’s Game Boy slips from his shirt pocket and into the water.
He lunges for it, and the raft flips--all three go tumbling into the river.
EXT. Rio Grande, American Side. DAY.
Zoe squints, hearing splashing.
She spots the chaos: arms, legs, floats, a hand propping up a crockpot.
ZOE: Grizzie. There.
She sprints off, while Grizzie strolls after her, concerned and confused.
Zoe dives into the river with a flourish, and swims expertly toward the flailing family.
Scene Notes
The opening’s still lifted straight from Boudu Saved From Drowning (thanks again
for that rec!). I’m usually wary of homages, but starting in the Rio Grande just feels too symbolically right to resist. The real challenge will be pulling it off on a small budget… but that’s tomorrow’s problem!What does still make me nervous is the tone of this as an unserious slacker take on something as serious as undocumented migration. I’ve never crossed the border myself, and no amount of research — memoirs, YouTube videos, you name it — will change that. So while the story begins with a crossing, it’s really about immigration at large, which is closer to my own experience.
But if I can park my anxiety about depicting the crossing too lightly, I like that this tone our film as the total opposite of the tragic, workhumping, “poverty porn” immigration stories we usually see. I don’t know of a story that tackles immigration this way before. (if you know of any, please flag them in the comments!)
While the plot events of this scene has remained unchanged from the first rewrite, I’ve made some adjustments:
Grizzie’s less of a snark and more compliant now, which fits her new arc.
Added a prelude with the cow and teddy bear — inspired by real Rio Grande crossing footage. It adds some bloat but also a nice slacker texture.
Also, as with every scene rewrite, I have polished down dialogue to be less on the nose and substituted actions for dialogue wherever I could. I’m not gonna note it in every scene, so just take that as a given step. Example: Sirena asking about obleas instead of outright saying “I can’t do this.”
All in all, this is a scene I’ve consistently felt good about since the first draft. It’s not always easy to start a story with an engaging episode, but I think this scene does that. (Watch me end up killing it later, as is often the case with my dearest “darlings”)
Consumerism as the Perfection of Slavery — Jiang Xueqin
This dude, the radicalizing college professor I never had, makes some bangers on YouTube.
This particular one gives simple and clear words to something that I’ve always felt instinctually: consumerism is a competition for prestige that drives people into debt and makes them wage slaves that hate each other.
It also made me reflect on how much I (and those around me, as far as I can tell) make our decisions (including romantic ones) primarily through economic logic.
Maybe Sirena felt this icky aura as she crossed the river, and that’s why she panicked and tried to turn back.
As always, any feedback, criticism, reaction, whatever is encouraged and appreciated and may work its way into future versions of the film. See you at the next scene!
Love the Game Boy. That definitely dials down the seriousness, while remaining believable, even in a serious scenario. Can't wait for the next one!